in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
