His pubic hair was longer than his dick
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
COCAINE IS GR8
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize