Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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