Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
These 21 Drunks Said The Darndest Things
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
These 25 Irresponsible People Blew All Their Cash On Drugs, Booze, & Sex
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight