covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.