We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize