I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
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