nut hugger
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize
