I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
