the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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