her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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