I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Randomize