i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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