we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
