Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
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