Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
i jhust puked up my retainher.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
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