I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Randomize
