i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
