craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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