it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
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Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
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At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
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