Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Randomize
