So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Randomize
