do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Damn victory sex feels great
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Randomize
