His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Randomize
