Where are you?
In a non slutty way
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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