id be glad to
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
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