shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
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