all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
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