I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Randomize
