i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
Randomize
