Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
i just had sex bonerless
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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