I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize