i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
