Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
