i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
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