I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Randomize
