He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
