so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
