My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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