Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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