I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
