oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
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