Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
