he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Randomize
