john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
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