k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
it was like having sex with a tree stump
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
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