Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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