Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
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