this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
its liver damage thursday
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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