I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
