She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Randomize
