my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Randomize
