I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Randomize
