What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Randomize
