She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
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