did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
