he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Randomize
