Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
everyone is single if you try hard enough
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Randomize
