so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
