I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
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